Rabbits
by Darkwalk12
Summary: 'Well, this is certainly odd, I thought as a opened a door and promptly fell out of a closet.' Transformers- Alice in Wonderland crossover. There shall be cats, tea parties, and a very irritated tactician.


_All my sister's fault. She had a funny dream awhile back so I made her write down the outline and then I took that and typed it into a story. I'm not an alice in wonderland fan, but this is kinda funny XP_

_Transformers belong to Hasbro. Dream character belongs to Tigerlilly. Partial credit to Darkwalk12 for typing, editing and whatnot._

_Warning: If it doesn't make sense, that's okay. It's not supposed to. Transformers, Alice in Wonderland crossover._

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><p>Well, this is certainly odd, I thought as a opened a door and promptly fell out of a closet. With a loud 'umph' I flopped onto the floor and landed on my hand and knees. Trying to get up was rather tricky, seeing as I seemed to be wearing a dress of shiny metal drops. I spun a little and watched the light slide on it. The upper part of the dress wrapped around my chest with metal plated armor, and the lower part looked almost like scales, ending at my knees. It honestly reminded me of a battle dress. All in all it was very pretty and glittery.<p>

Okay then. Not a clue were this had come from. Turning I looked behind me to see the closet I have fallen out of. It was obviously not my closet. One, this thing was full to bursting with so many colorful things. Second, the door to mine was white, not brown.

Odd, I mused as I turned around the other way. There was absolutely no possible way to go back through the closet. It was much to full and a dead end. Instead I surveyed the room around me, which wasn't so much a room but a hallway. Well then.

I wandered down the wooden floor, glancing curiously at the plain doors on either side but they didn't have doorknobs. Can't go through those. However, at the end one door stood out. Not only did this one actually have a doorknob (Hallelujah!) but it wasn't plain looking. The entire wood panel was carved.

Little animals, some I recognized and many I didn't sashayed across their plane of wood. Dragons curled outward and guarded the corners of the door frame while etched symbols tried to blend with the curving lines. How very odd indeed. Beautiful though.

Carefully I reached a hand to turn the shiny brass knob. Silently it turned in my palm and with a cautious look I peeked into the room. Empty, phew. With that small relief I explored the simple place. There really wasn't much here. A carpeted floor, a TV set on a table over by the wall and a simple plush couch facing it.

I couldn't continue my exploration though because someone was coming. Their footsteps thumped as they came down the hall. Internally I freaked. There's nowhere to hide! With a dash I was behind the couch as the door was pushed open further and the person entered the room. A quiet click seemed so loud in the silence as the door was swung shut. More foreboding steps and then the sounds of the couch shifting as the unknown person sat.

My heart hurt, just a little, as it raced in my chest. Okay, they didn't see you, you're okay. Just stay quiet. Slowly, so slowly I peered over the end of the couch that was closest to the door. The TV was turned on and some bleary cartoon started playing. And then their head turned.

Red eyes. I froze as my thoughts seemed to all start shouting at me. This one was dangerous, so dangerous. A threat. A predator. Run. A fog enveloped my reason and absolute panic slid it's way into veins. Run. Freeze. Couldn't break the staring contest. Run. We didn't move, he was staring and I couldn't move, couldn't think straight. Run!

"Well, look who let the cat out of the bag."

Suddenly I bolted, not even realizing I was moving until I was pulling the door open and rushing through it. Light hit my face, blinding me as I stumbled to a halt while the sound of a slam could be heard. Blinking to clear my sight I cautiously looked around me and realized I wasn't being chased. Oooohhh, that was such a good thing. In fact...turning to look behind me...I couldn't even see the door. There wasn't one, as I was now outside.

With a frown I observed my new surroundings. They just had to keep changing things on me, didn't they? At least this place seemed alright. Outside was much more preferable to those claustrophobic inside rooms. And no red eyed people. Yep, life was good. Except for the fact that I still didn't know where I was. It was a forest, that much was clear, but not one I'd ever seen.

It was very pretty though. Tall trees with vibrant green and purple bark, the leaves were so many colors! And the birds...oh, how pretty. A red and orange one zipped by my shoulder and I went after it, careful not to tear by shiny dress. What a waste. Who wears dresses to a woods anyway? If I'd a change of clothes it would be better, I mused as I skirted large leafy vegetation with veins of gold and pink. The silly little bird had disappeared, there were just too many! Butterflies with sharp and soft wings swooped in the air with their feathered cousins, making the skies vibrant with a riot of shapes and movement. Trilling bird song followed me as I walked a dirt path until around a bend the trees stopped.

Huh. Tall golden grasses swayed as a wind came up, blowing my hair back around my face. I walked carefully through the field, pushing the plants out of my way. They were taller than me and I couldn't see over them to where I was going. At least I had tennis shoes on, or else my feet would probably be bloody by now. Tennis shoes and a dress. Well at least whoever picked my foot coverings had some sense!

My thoughts were interrupted as in front of me the glasses made a swishing sound and parted to the little black kitten. Whoa, I thought, reaching down to pet it. The little creature was shiny and black. Perhaps it was made of obsidian? Regardless, amber markings dotted it's forehead and sides. And then another one appeared! Ooooohhhh! How cute! Petting both of them was probably the oddest sensation, like warm glass that could wrap around your hand.

And then out of the tall plants came a _much_ larger cat. Oh. Crap. I thought, seeing the large paws. I hoped this wasn't the mama and that she wouldn't be mad at me for petting her babies. But apparently this one was alright with me. She (he?) leaned down to nuzzle their head against my chest and I carefully rubbed her snout. She was _huge_. Almost twice as tall as me! I noted distantly that all the amber gold markings were different for each cat. Hmmm, I wonder what they mean. Then, the larger feline nudged the smaller two kitten and they turned to disappear back into the grasses.

"Uh...bye!" I called after them. Wow, that was awesome. Obsidian cats, who knew?

Well, where to now? A frown graced my face as I headed farther inwards before stumbling onto a small stone path. A path. In the middle of a field. Nice going guys, are you going to put a pool out here too? You can't put a path in the middle of a field. It goes around the field! Everybody knows that.

Weird people. Ah, but the path lead me out of the field. I suppose it's okay then, since it is useful and all. Just as I got past the last bit of plant life however, I was accosted by two someones. A hand grabbed one of my shoulders to start pushing me along and another rubbed the hair on my head, making it a mess. Hey!

"What...?!" I sputtered, trying to pull the strands out of my eyes to see.

"Come one, we'll be late!" Sideswipe chuckled, reaching over to mess up my hair again. I leaned away and almost tripped over Sunstreaker who still had a hand on my shoulder.

"Twins...Where are we going? Late for what? And watch the dress." I humphed as I followed them past relatively normal looking trees.

"Come on. We know a shortcut." The yellow twin smiled, and I almost stopped right there. Sunstreaker? Smiling like that. Soooooooo not good. Actually both of them were smiling. That was even worse. Who was about to get utterly humiliated? I hoped it wasn't me.

Sideswipe grabbed my hand and nearly dragged me forward, "Yeah! It's right up ahead." The red front-liner stopped in front of a wooden bridge that spanned a cliff. The other rock face wasn't that far away, maybe a bit more than ten feet? Either way, I wasn't eager to cross that rickety thing. No way was it safe.

Behind us there came a thumping, loud, very loud footsteps. I turned behind me to see the trees in the distance shaking. What could that be...?

"Uh-oh." Sunstreaker was looked back as well.

"Dude, it's the dragon! Time to go!" Sideswipe grabbed my other shoulder so now I was sandwiched between the two Autobots.

I stuttered in surprise, "Wait, dragon? What are you do..." the rest of my question was cut off with a shriek as the two of them surged forward and we jumped _over_ the edge of the cliff instead of just going across the bridge. The air rushed upward to meet us as Sideswipe cackled and Sunny whooped aloud. I tried my hardest not to panic as the ground approached rapidly, arms waving wildly about. My eyes closed on reflex and oddly...I didn't seem to have much going on in my head. The only thing I could think of was, I'm going to die. Oh crap, I'm going to die. I'm going to murder the twins. I'm going to die. Close your eyes, you're going to die.

And then suddenly we bounced. The air whooshed out of me in surprise as we hit something soft and I bounced upward a little,. The Twins let go of me and I pinwheeled and opened my eyes to find a pile of giant mushrooms in my way. Arms raised to shield my face I once again landed on the overly large fungi, the metal of my dress biting into my legs just a little. With a grunt I flopped onto my stomach and thankfully remained out of the air this time. Scrambling to get up I saw the other two sliding off of their mushrooms as well.

"Was that really necessary?!" I called to them, edging down and then dropping onto the ground, only a foot below. Somehow my shiny metal dress wasn't stained or torn or anything else. Rather odd.

"Aawwwhhhhh, don't complain! That was fun." Laughed Sideswipe, coming to stand next to me and then backing up when I took a swipe at him, "Besides, I have my jet pack." Smug bastard, I huffed internally, my arms folded.

"Well, now we have another shortcut." Sunstreaker nodded down another path and then started walking, his brother right after him.

Thanks guys, leave the human all by herself, "Hey, wait for me!" I ran after them, it's so hard running in a dress! Just as I caught up with them we rounded a corner and found ourselves in a shaded glade surrounded by trees. The leafed branches overhead kept the sun off of a long table filled with plates, energon cubes, cakes and teacups. What it in the bloody hell?...

The Twins immediately sat down on wooden chairs and grabbed cake while an odd sort of creature barked at them, "Your late. Your always late. Couldn't you be on time just once?" I ogled. It appeared to be Prowl, only he had large white rabbit ears extended out of his helm and a small furry tale. My head hurt, how? It didn't make any sense. Fur and metal...

The tactician turned sharp blue optics on me, "Well? Are you going to sit down?"

"What crawled up your tail pipe?" I responded without thinking, earning laughter from the others.

He was not amused, "In case you hadn't noticed I am a rabbit. Therefore, I am in a rather foul mood." Optics paled just slightly while I tried not to laugh.

"How come your processor hasn't crashed?"

He shrugged noncommittally, glaring at everyone and I saw movement down the table. Slowly I sat down, settling my dress, while the bot who'd been watching us silently sashayed up to us and I grinned. Jazz.

"Well girl, it's about time! Here, have some tea." He poured tea in a cup and offered it to me with black servos before tipping a rather large and colorful top hat.

I smiled, "Why thank you. What are you doing here by the way?" Curiosity itching me to speak.

The saboteur shrugged with an easy grin, "I jus' wanted ta have a bit of a parteh. And don't mind Prowler much. He's just a bit fussy right now." He cackled and leaped over the table with a somersault mid-air to avoid a teacup thrown at him, courtesy of the other black and white.

"As we were saying," chimed in Sunstreaker, taking a bite out of a slice of cake, "we're late because the dragon was following us." His brother nodded and made an odd noise as he tried to speak around his cake. I sipped my tea. It tasted sweet. I didn't normally drink tea. I wonder what kind it was.

"Hey, what dragon?" I suddenly realized no one had explained this one to me. 'The dragon' meant only one right? Not like, a whole group?

"The dragon." Jazz gave a frustrated huff, optic visor glinting, "How am ah supposed to have a parteh when that things buttin' in ?"

Prowl-rabbit frowned, "It is a serious threat. There is a sixty-five percent chance it will show up here." I blinked. They were soooooo not explaining things to me.

Suddenly a striped Mirage appeared out of nowhere. You heard me, a striped Mirage. Purple wavy yet elegant stripes coated the noble from helm to foot. Once he had completely materialized he turned to Jazz in a panic.

"You must leave, run now! It's here!" And then, as quickly as he'd come he disappeared, fading out.

Jazz grabbed his top hat in one servo and grabbed my hand in the other, "Come quick!" He started pushing me toward the back of the glade where there was a gap in the trees as Prowl snapped orders at the Twins. They all drew out blasters and started firing as the branches overhead shook and a roar was heard. I gaped open-mouthed, still reeling from how fast everything was moving. Mad Hatter- Jazz brought out a grenade from subspace and hurled it upwards with quick efficiency just as a claw appeared. A resulting explosion let loose a ball of orange flames and white sparks. The beast backed up with a ear-splitting shriek while Jazz grinned ferally.

"Teach ya ta interrupt mah parteh." Then he turned and shoved me headlong out of the glade.

I stumbled and started running. Stupid dress! Why did I have to be wearing a dress! Crashing around trees and bushes I bumped my way through undergrowth until I was out in the open, plains on either side and _another_ dirt path in front of me. Oh for the love of...

Turning I looked behind me at the dark woods and wondered if the others would be okay. But there was four of them, and they were really good fighters...It wasn't like I could do anything. Prowl never let me have a blaster, not after that last incident. Dang it, I was still worried.

And then, over the tree tops I saw something coming toward me. Oh no. Run.

Taking off down the road I once again cursed dresses, dragons and anything else that happened to be on my mind. Spitting nonsense swear words that somehow fit the situation I risked a glance behind me to see the dragon closing in. Only instead of a giant fire-breathing scaled lizard I saw a black and red decepticon raptor, red optics drilling into mine. Lazerbeak.

What. The. Hell. And then I immediately hit the ground as metal talons scraped the air where I'd been a second ago. Scrambling up I added decepticons to my list of things to swear at and started running again. Dang it. There was no way to out run this drago-, I mean cassette. Whatever. I just needed a place to hide. And maybe some weapons. A cannon would be nice. Focusing on the creature chasing me, and not where I was going, ended with me crashing into a wall. Really guys? First a path in the middle of a field and then a wall in the middle of a road. Did you guys do this to mess with Prowl's battle computer or something?

I stumbled back and looked up to find the stone wall attached to a castle. It was some really freaky white stone too, because the whole thing freakin' _glittered_. Maybe there was crystal in the stone or something. That or someone had issues. Anyways, a castle was better than out in the open. I ran towards the open gate and dashed in just as Lazerbeak's shadow rushed across the courtyard. Legs pumping I ran in another door and up stone stairs, hoping the structure would keep the decepticon out. No such luck, he rammed the walls, causing everything to shake.

With a hand splayed out to keep balance, a turned frantically, searching for something to help me. Come on! Where do you people keep your cannons! I ducked into a room and hoped it was an armory but instead found another bot. Well, that was better than nothing. Although, why Perceptor would be lounging calmly when there was obviously an attack going on was beyond me.

The microscope was leaning back on a stone seat, a book in one hand. Next to him were two incense plates, one on the floor by his feet and one on the rock ledge next to him. They made the room slightly misty, blurring the edges between wall and floor. My abrupt rush in hadn't fazed him in the least. Another crashing boom and the walls shook, spilling plaster and rock dust down on us. The red and blue bot looked up curiously and then turned to me.

I was panting for breath, "Hey, do you know where the cannons are? Or something else that might keep up from dying?" Why wasn't he worried!?

He sighed, British accent brushing it's way through his voice, "You need to wake up."

I stared at him, "What."

One optic ridge raised, "Wake up. Preferably soon. I do believe the dragon will get through in a moment." As soon as he said it the castle shook, causing me to put my arms out for balance.

"You are dreaming. Wake up."

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><p>I lurched forward, the seat-belt restraining me from moving too much. With heavy breathing I looked around. I was in a car, a police car, while rain poured outside. It tapped against the windows with a quick staccato beat, almost drowning out the noise of the other vehicles on the road. I was sitting in the passenger seat. The driver's seat was empty, the wheel turning by itself. A faint metallic scent permeated the vehicle.<p>

"Are you alright?" A calm voice came from the radio.

My hands rubbed my face and I looked down to see myself in jeans, a jacket and my trusty tennis shoes, "Fine Prowl, just took a quick nap." Oi, what a nap. At least I wasn't in a dress anymore. Lovely regular clothes. How lovely.

"Hmm, well you were mumbling."

I looked over at the dashboard in concern, "Mumbling what?"

A quiet huff, "All I could understand was rabbits. What were you dreaming about?"

I gave a faint grin, best not tell him. He'd probably crash trying to understand and then Ratchet would come after me. No, better not explain. Although, I bet Jazz would get a kick out of it, if I told him.

"Oh nothing serious. Just rabbits."

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><p><em>So? What do you think? Reviews always welcome, flames will be collected into a burning hell-fire to be used against my enemies. mwhahahaha.<em>


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